identity theft

Identity Theft

         

          The statistics are alarming. The damages are staggering. Identity theft is an epidemic from social security numbers to mortgages on houses. From names and drivers licenses to fortune 500 companies. From Wall Street to the suburbs. There is not one section of our country that identity theft has not affected. There is not one person that it has not affected either. The consequences for offenders are time in jail. But the consequences are carried by society by everyone. The prices of goods and services are affected. The decisions of the consumers are effected. With the confidence of the consumers the lenders and the sellers damaged it has played a huge roll in the down turn of our economy.  Here are some numbers. Recent identity theft statistics released by the FBI claims that 9.91 million Americans were identity theft victims and have experienced losses totaling $52.6 billion.

          Becoming someone else was never an ambition of mine. I mean in my dreams I was handsome successful popular and I was me. Where did it start? Truthfully I don’t know. I do remember a moment as a child where I was watching Randal Cunningham play on Monday night football and I remember He just signed what was at the time the richest contract ever with the Eagles and was considered by every expert the greatest athlete to ever play. He was at the peak of fame and popularity and I looked at my father and said Dad I wish I was him. Not Dad I want to be like him. I said Dad I wish I was him. I remember there were days as a kid were I would daydream about being someone else even in my family. I have this cousin his name is Chris. Chris was an incredible athlete. The chicks loved Chris. Every where he went people flocked too Chris and it appeared he was having a great life. Chris ran away from home sometime around 15 and never returned. I never knew why but I remember laying in my bed saying man what a dummy. I would play the scenario out in my mind that my life and his switched and how nice it would be to have both your mom and dad. How awesome it would be to have parents who were not on drugs. How cool it would be to have a bike that was not owned ten times already. To have cloths that was clean to wear to school. To have a coat period.  See to want to be Randall Cunningham is almost acceptable because he was like a super hero to me. But to fantasize about being my cousin and having his parents and his life is bizarre.

          Fast forward to my senior yr in high school. I am a bench player on the 4^th ranked basketball team in the state. My team was good. But unfortunately I was not. And man it did not matter how hard I worked. I would shoot for hours and hours. The guy who started ahead of me was Glenn McCloud. A gifted point guard all state recruited by schools in the Pac 10 and big 12 as well as the WAC and the list goes on. He was just around 6 foot tall and smooth. And this guy could shoot the rock. Well after the season was over our coach gave us all a highlight film of the yr. I watched it but I was only in like 2 plays so I did not really care about it too much.  Well one day I walked into my science class and there it was being played. Mr. Jacobs had put it on and for the class that day we were going to watch the highlights of my team that yr. Now Mr. Jacobs was one of my biggest supporters in life. He loved me and really encouraged me and rooted me on academically and made several exceptions in attendance and for my grades to keep me on the team. So to him my success was his success. Problem was I was not very successful. Anyways to make a long story short Mr. Jacobs actually thought all the plays with Glen in them were me. I was shocked at first and I wanted to say something but the other kids in the class were like gosh David I had no idea you were that good. There was even a guy on the team in the room who said Wow I don’t remember you playing that much nice job.  There compliments made me feel good.  I felt confident. And honestly I just felt like no harm no foul.  Mr. Jacobs felt proud of me the class respected me and nobody would ever know any better. That night I went home I put my tape in and I watched it and sure enough as clear as day anyone would mistake me for Glenn. So I got this idea I would send this tape to my dad and not say anything. Man I wanted my dad to be proud of me so so so bad. Not having him be apart of my life for those last three yrs was very difficult for me to endure. So I wanted to impress my father. So I sent him that tape under the presumption that the kid in all the highlights was me. On that day I committed my first identity theft. I became a fraud. Becoming someone else was not my ambition remember I had my own dreams goals and desires. But on that day I gave all them up for someone else’s. The cost of that decision and ramifications of that one decision would be felt for the next 25 yrs in my life. That decision set in motion the domino effect in my life. I would cheat here lie there and fudge on this over here. I blinked and one day I woke up to a wife who I married under the presumption that I was making 120,000 dollars a yr. I made good money but I did not like myself. I was not good enough. And just like in High school I worked harder then anyone at sales. And just like my mother used to tell me I wasn’t going to be good enough I had this boss who would constantly tear me down in private. I had months of great achievement followed by breakdown after breakdown. I was a binge drinker. I would make a lot of sales and disappear for a couple of weeks sometimes months.  Anyways the pressure to live up to a totally fake identity (not even someone else’s) was really making me crack. So I did it. I forged signatures. I forged checks. I re wrote contracts and I defrauded lenders. My lowest point has to be two ten dollar checks I tore out of my Cousin Cindy’s check book. One for gas the other for Dairy Queen. To this day I still owe 1500 dollars in fines for those two checks.

Eventually it all adds up. Eventually it all catches up. And eventually everyone has to pay the piper. My day had come. I could not take anymore. I cracked. I took a large check and forged it deposited it into the bank and withdrew all the cash and left town. All the stuff I did wrong. All the people I screwed over had gotten the best of me. I got on a bus running from life and responsibilities. I had no clue who I was I had no clue where I was going and for the first time in my life I was legitimately all alone.

The greatest toll of identity theft fell square on the shoulders of three little boys. Who were there everyday saying Daddy Daddy Daddy. They did not care how much money I made. They did not care about anything see I had an identity I was daddy.

Now let me say this again it was never my intention to be someone else. I had my own dreams my own goals my own desires. But that was long ago. I am not sure where the transfer took place but I am certain of one thing there was a transfer. I had transferred my identity for one of the devil. Everyone has an inner voice. Mine always said there’s no way your going to be able to do this. Mine always said your not good enough why bother.  I was just scared. I was so so so alone.  And I did not cope at all with my issues or ask for help.  I gave up before the game ever started. So I can tell you I had a huge roll to play in the epidemic. But the true identity that was stolen was more valuable then an Electrolux vacuum or a car I purchased on fake paystubs. The true identity that was stolen was the one in where David is good enough. Where David has a purpose. Where David has a vision and a plan and a direction in life. And yes David is father and a husband and a good one too. He is accepted and sure there are disappointments but today David knows who he is and where he is. Today David is a mighty man of God. What did it take to find that out. What was the cost. Well it took someone to give up their identity and accept mine. Mine as a fraud mine as a deadbeat father. Mine as an adulterer and a wife beater. Mine as a junky. Mine as thief and a crook. Jesus Christ stole my identity and gave me His.

I remember the words so vividly. My mother had decided for a month when I was ten I could stay with her. She took that opportunity to remind me that I would not amount to anything that I was just like my father and he was a piece of you know what. I was ten and I just wanted to play little league that summer. And I was really good. But that was not acceptable. So she told me I was wasting my time. That I should be home cleaning the house and doing more chores washing dishes. Now don’t get me wrong chores are fine. But so is healthy competition. So is learning how to win and yes so is learning how to lose and accept failure and still know its ok.

 Fast forward to Day One of my recovery.  For the first time I hear that inner voice tell me something. It said good job. You did the right thing. It said I love you. It said it’s going to be ok.  It said abide in Me and I in you. It said I accept you just the way you are. Dirty messed up on drugs full of nasty thoughts from porn. It said I chose you from the foundations of the Earth and David you are my son and I love you. My intentions were not to ever become somebody else. Remember I had my own dreams my own goals my own desires. And my inner voice said lay them down and take mine. And I did. I successfully pulled of the greatest identity theft ever on that day and the consequences are felt my three boys who are once again apart of their daddy’s life and he is theirs. Whose wife is glad to see her husband every day.  And has a church that loves and adores him.  I am hid in Christ.

The road is difficult and it is not an easy road.  On each side of the road is the enemy and he is waiting for me to veer off . Waiting there lurking in the shadows and in the bushes to ambush me. The enemy wants to steal my identity again. Only this time I have nothing to prove. I only have to keep walking not looking to the right or the left. Just knowing I am on that lit path and the light that lights the path is shining from inside me. I know who I am today. I am a mighty man of God.