The Cause Within ME

The Cause Within Me

Angie Halverson was her name. She was my first girlfriend. She actually passed me a note that said check yes or no. Oh we never spoke we never did anything even remotely social but she was my girlfriend and I had a letter to prove it. It was my fifth grade yr of school. Sam Case Elementary.  Life was innocent. Life was pure. Being 10 or 11 could not have been better. I had a bike that I road everywhere. I had a baseball mitt that I took everywhere.  And with that my life was complete. See back then kids actually played outside.  I remember my best friend Josh had an original Nintendo but he was the only kid I knew that had one. We did not play baseball on the computer we played baseball at a field. Any field to be exact.

Little League. I remember tryouts that yr. The grass was freshly cut. It smelled awesome. To this day the smell of fresh cut grass reminds me of being in the fifth grade.  The ting from the bat as the coaches hit pop flys to the outfielders. The pop that a glove makes when a ball hits it just right. Wearing cleats was awesome don’t ask me why but I could not wait for tryouts just so I could wear cleats. (the mind of a fifth grader).  I remember being picked. I was the first kid picked. I was picked by the fire department.  The uniforms were identical to the Yankees and that sucked. I am a die hard Dodger fan. Putting on pin stripes made me feel dirty and weird. Lol. But they picked me and the feeling of being picked was amazing.  Even a fifth grader wants to belong to something. Wants to be wanted by someone.  

Fast forward to 2005. How does a guy go from little league to shooting up Chrystal Meth everyday? How does that fifth grader end up homeless? Where did he stop dreaming? If you went out and took a pole or did a survey. If the survey was made of 1question. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? I am willing to wager that not one fifth grader would answer this way. I want to be a homeless drug addict. In fact you would find that despite economic hardship or economic blessing that every kid from both sides of the tracks from stable and unstable families from every demographic would respond with a healthy desire or dream.  And if you asked all the kids if drugs are good or bad they would all say drugs are bad.  So what gives? The answer is I don’t know.  I don’t know exactly what broke inside of me that drove me to drug addiction. I grew up in and around drugs my whole life. I saw first hand the destructive nature of drugs and that lifestyle of using them brought. Knew full well what happens to people that use them and somehow I still did them.  The battle we are in is even more serious today because the age of innocents has slipped.

Do you remember how I started this entry. I was in the fifth grade. To me that was the last yr of my innocents.  The sixth grade I began skipping school. Stealing was a hobby. And I kissed 36 girls that yr. I kept track which speaks to an even deeper issue. Sixth grade!!!! What does that say. Well one I was a messed up kid.  The seeds were already beginning to sprout roots in my life that would lead to my destruction later on. But also there were 36 girls who had no trouble kissing me. This was the sixth grade!!!!

Make no mistake about this. This is a war.  I hear all the time people say to me that God did not call them to work with kids.  That its great to see people like me being used that way. I will say this. I don’t think God calls anyone to work with kids. I think it is our God given duty and responsibility as adult Christian people to do so. If we can prevent one kid from doing dope. Then we creat a cycle of generational blessing and not a generational curse.  By not working with kids we are spending millions of dollars. Just use me as an example.

I was homeless and on dope hooked on porn and meth. This is what my recovery cost. One guy Pastor Tommy Barnett ran from Phoenix to La to raise money for a Dreamcenter.  Which cost millions of dollars. That Dreamcenter inspired the phoenix Dreamcenter which cost my church millions of dollars.  The operating expenses to house me feed me cloths me were 100k a month.  The people God put there to serve me and to nurse my life back to health don’t get paid so there is an infinite dollar figure attached to that.  For one person to recover to the point I have has cost lets be conservative and say 25 million dollars. We are not even talking all spiritual here cause it really cost a guy his life on a cross for me to recover and that is the ulitimate.

 Now as responsible Christian adults let me ask you this question knowing the financial responsibility of fixing it after it broke don’t you think its just better to help prevent it from being broke.

What can you do?

There are 3 ingredients needed to do preventive maintenance. Time talent Treasure.

You can start or find a ministry to serve in that does this very thing. This will take time and talent. But maybe your talent isn’t this or maybe you are one who don’t have the time. You can give your treasure.  I know if you go to the websites I will list they can receive your donations and I know first hand these people and 100% goes to actually doing the work.  And its all tax deductable.

www.phxdreamcenter.org  602-404-7494 

michelle.cityquest@gmail.org

jcanales@phxdreamcenter.org