The Why Me Syndrome

Overcoming the Why Me Syndrome

How many opportunities in life do we all have to ask the question “WHY ME?” I Have had my fair share. Recently I was confronted with the stone cold truth about my life my actions and yes even my God. And for the first time in my life when it was over it was very healthy to ask WHY ME?

My life has unfolded like an onion as one of my friends puts it. Each season of life represents a new layer of onion. A few  common themes in my life in each layer of season has been sin and grotesc sin and lots of it. I denied myself no pleasure of the flesh and partook of everything my eyes saw attractive. I was the embodiement of that scripture that says men will become lovers of them selves and forsake the Truth worshiping the created rather then the creator. I lived that out on a daily basis. Where it led me is water under the bridge and blood over the cross.

Sitting in that docs office. And Hearing the words you might be sick and could be dying were very sobering. I have lived a life even after getting saved that has probably left people feeling unappreciated at times let alone the God who saved me. I have taken my salvation for granted on several occasions to take one or two day vacations back to Egypt. But I just never thought I could or would ever hear those words.  When people say there are moments in life when things become slow motion well there are for me there was the time I hit five three pointers in a highschool basketball game with my team down by 20 to come back to win in the 4^th quarter. That was surreal and slow motion.  I never played like that again hence I never had that feeling again. Then there was this time in the docs office. Very slow motion.  Getting in the car from there was odd.  The Question Why me? Popped into my head. Before I could even speak it though I felt a nudge from the Holy Spirit and I said outloud why not me.  I did everything I could possably do as a human being to contract those diseases and I did so in full knowledge.  SO WHY NOT ME.  I began to take an offensive measure against self sorrow and self pitty. I would not allow the knowledge I could be dying steal the joy of my last bit of living.  I began to praise God for the people he put in my life to share the rest of it with.  I began to wake up energized and excited to face obsticles again. I purposely set out to deliberately attack life with force and not waist another second asking WHY ME.

A common subject of comparison a Christian will make and many have to me is two people in the Bible Joseph and Job. I would like to present to you that none of us are Joseph and non of us are Job. Both were very righteous and shunned evil. The bible says Job was upright in all his ways hated sin and shunned evil that does not even express how my life has been at times as a saved man let alone unsaved. So then who well I think there are certain moments we can all become like Joshua and Caleb. Where we go into the enemies camp see the beasts and how large they are but we return with a good report just because Gods word says so.  I am no Joseph and I am no Job. Anyone who knows me well knows theres nothing righteous about my past. But if your one bit like me there are times when we can become like Joshua and we can return with a report that contradicts the experts reports…the ones that say were doomed we might as well give up and die.

My Second set of blood work came back. And when the results showed up at my house I can honestly say this. I had no fear. I had no hesitation. I did not pray over them before I opened them I just opened them and believed with my wife who believed even more then me. NORMAL  everything is normal…no explanation required. I get it.

So for the first time in my life I now ask this question everyday. Lord you chose me. You healed me. I remind him of my past that He delivered me from and ask Him in a healthy way WHY ME?  Lord you could have left me for dead outside homeless you did not? Lord you could have allowed me to wear a disease that would have eventually killed me and I would have been fine with that but YOU did not. So Why?  Today Lord you direct me and show me Why so I can become a Joshua and a Caleb.  I have different report one that says I am not a grasshopper. One that says we can enter Cannon. So today Lord you show me where to go. Lord you give me someone to love that would not be loved otherwise.  


Who will join me and ask God Why Me? What is our God given purpose for our healing and salvation? Who will join me knowing we don't deserve anything good but we will take it and appreciate it today.